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Memories, musings, and finding meaning after losing my one-year-old boy.

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Monthly Archives: September 2021

“Real” Job

When I left work, I was pregnant. Pelvic issues had me in pain when standing (which, as a teacher, is unavoidable), so I went off about a month before Miles arrived. I spent the weeks waiting for him to arrive nesting, resting, and counting down the days until I could meet our little man. TheContinue reading ““Real” Job”

Posted byThis Grieving MamaSeptember 6, 2021Posted inUncategorizedLeave a comment on “Real” Job

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@this.grieving.mama

This photo was taken on January 9th two years ago, exactly one month before he left this earth. This was the week that he started exhibiting worrying symptoms that we hoped weren't a sign of a bigger problem. Because save for these few symptoms, he was fine. He was more than fine. He was happy, and healthy, and laughing, and his front teeth were getting cuter every day. But in reality, he wasn't fine. There were multiple tumours silently growing in his brain, and we had no idea.
Ringing in the new year used to be fun. For me, it always signalled new beginnings, shedding old habits, and welcoming exciting adventures. I'm thankful for many things 2022 gave us (namely our new daughter Norah), but mostly I'm sad. Sad that another year passing means getting further away from Miles. Sad that we're entering a second year he didn't exist in. Sad that 2023 won't create any new family memories with him. Time is a thief, and celebrating its passage tonight is a toughie.
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