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Complexly Simple

I saw the little banner as I walked into the room after getting dressed and ready. One of my best girlfriends had just finished hanging it beside the 3-photo collage we have of Miles on our living room wall. “Big Brother”, it read. I felt it in my gut and immediately had to start wipingContinue reading “Complexly Simple”

I hope you know

When the breath left your tiny body, I didn’t know for sure that “it” had happened. I laid there, willing your chest to rise again, but it didn’t. We placed our hands over your heart as it slowed and eventually stopped just after 3:30am, still not appreciating that it was real. I held you untilContinue reading “I hope you know”

Rainbow

The first notes of the song wash over me as I lay in a hip-opening posture during an online yoga class. It’s funny, because I was already feeling tears come before the song started- but as the familiar opening lyrics begin “When it rains, it pours…”, giant tears start leaking onto my yoga mat, turningContinue reading “Rainbow”

“Real” Job

When I left work, I was pregnant. Pelvic issues had me in pain when standing (which, as a teacher, is unavoidable), so I went off about a month before Miles arrived. I spent the weeks waiting for him to arrive nesting, resting, and counting down the days until I could meet our little man. TheContinue reading ““Real” Job”

Just

I wake up on the morning of our 8th wedding anniversary to my husband Kent sitting on the bed with a medium-sized box in his hands. “I thought we agreed we weren’t doing gifts!” I say, embarrassed that I don’t have anything for him. “It’s for both of us”, he says. “Go ahead, open it.”Continue reading “Just”

Absent/Present

I sit by the water, watching our nephews play in the lake during our family vacation, splashing around as they jump in the waves. They are nine and twelve and quintessentially “boy”- loud, dirty, and full of energy. Miles adored his cousins, especially watching them play. He would sit contended in his little chair, hisContinue reading “Absent/Present”

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